OK, now that I have your attention, I know that you are thinking, "What in the world is this logo doing on this blog?" As my blog header states, this is Truth Gumbo. The gumbo dish consists of many ingredients and depth of flavors. Now, onto the blog.

This morning when I awoke, I was not feeling well. So, I made a call into work and took a day of rest, napping alot of the day along with the pup. For the time I was not asleep, I found myself watching the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader (DCC as I now know it is called) tryouts. At first glance and thought of this orginazation, one would think, "Cheerleaders, whatever." I, too, thought this. As you see, I used the past tense, thought. I have been reformed. What an amazing orginazation. These "girls" work their behinds off. From sunrise to sunset, constant scrutiny. I really encourage everyone to watch this program if you ever get the chance. What these "girls" go through is absolutely grueling. Hard, hard work everyday. It seems to never end. Trust me folks, this is a serious business. Yes, business. Determination and perseverence is what drives these girls to become who they want to become. Remember, life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself. That is what these girls go on a daily basis. Creating a person that is much admired by football fans around the country. Afterall, who does not know the image of a DCC?

What I have learned from watching this program today is eye opening. To have your performance, both professionally and personally, has to be quiet nerve racking. Not only do these girls have to "look" good but they have to be smart. Yes, imagine that, these women are smart. They are trained in etiquette, get a physical makeover, taught on current events, reach out to the community and much much more. If you think that your job is constantly being looked at under the microscope, think again. It never stops for these women. They have to be mentally strong in order to survive this camp. Up front and brutal honesty every moment of every day.

I think I could write a short book on these women and I have never met them. After "spending" time with them today, I feel like I know them. What I do know is, I have total newfound respect for them. To want something so bad that you are willing to put yourself through such "torture" is a trait that should be admired. My hat is off to these women. We all should work so hard to become what we should become.

unt

I have searched and searched through all of my pics in order to find one that would relate to my topic tonight. As I was searching, I realized that I was forcing a subject instead of letting one reveal itself to me. That being said, no photo, no original topic. Instead, my day in at a glance.

Being that Christmas and Holiday are officially over in the retail world and it is on to it's next phase, I felt that it was time to start revealing to my management staff about my resignation. Today would be the day that I could tell them all being that all were scheduled. LOL. What the hell was I thinking? Again, today, an assistant manager calls in sick. So, I have to mentally prepare myself again tomorrow. As I told each of the ones that worked today, you could have tipped them over with a feather. Sincere suprise. Every response was the same, "You're kidding me right?" Nope, not a joke, for real guys. It felt as if a huge weight was being lifted everytime I revealed my departure to each manager. My intent was to be fully free this evening when I arrived home, but yet again, plans get foiled. Oh well, tomorrow, hopefully, will be my liberation. Tomorrow will officially begin the end of a journey that began with high hopes and high expectations. Tomorrow I can freely speak of my new direction, my new hopes, my new expectations, my new beginning. My new moto:

"The greatest is, at any moment, to be willing to give up who we are in order to become all that we can become." max de pree

unt

I was just browsing through some pics this morning and stumbled upon this one. Do any of you remember when it was taken? Of course I do. But, as a reminder for those of you who may have forgotten, this picture was take during the pink ladies birthday party. And, one of the men in the photo had literally just gotten out of the hospital. When I see this picture, I am reminded of the happiness that consumed my life as well as those around me. I was told that these two were spotted somewhere and were making a move back to this happy place. I did some investigating and it is true. No, not rumors, true true true...Can't wait to see them again.....I know that I have missed them terribly as I am sure that many others have too.

Happy happy joy joy........

unt

Well, after such a lenthy absence from my blog, due to much much work, and gaining the knowledge that a few of our dear friends are rather concerned about me/us, I felt that I should be so kind as to update everyone. So, take a deep breathe ya'll....

As far as my partner and I, we are fine and there are no troubles in our relationship. We love each other just as we always have, if not even deeper. So, let's put any concerns that there is trouble on the homefront.

Next, the previous post was one that was written in an effort to verbalize my unhappiness with my current job. I have worked for this company for 5 years and "thought" and "believed" that I would retire with them. The idea of growth and travel was such a promising aspect for me and I was, yes was, 100% on board. For those of you who really know me and my past, you will attest that I am no stranger to hard work. I have had to work for anything and everything that I have ever had. So, work does not frighten me. We relocated to Nashville back in July with the hopes and promise that I was still building and securing my future with this company. Since moving here, my eyes have opened up and I have become ever more aware of the consequences of my decision to move up that corporate ladder. Yes, it all sounds glamorous and exciting. Who wouldn't want to be the "Big Boss Man"? Well, that is what I thought.

For every year that I have worked in retail, I have discovered that I have lost more and more enjoyment of the holiday season. This year has not been exempt either. I honestly could have gone through this holiday without any decoration or celebration whatsoever. No tree, no lights, no cards, no holiday aromas, NOTHING.... I was so over it. Yep, Mr. Scrooge...

The more I thought about it, the more I despised the holiday. Eventually, I did not even like the person that was looking back at me in the mirror. I was no longer me. Unhappy and depressed. That is what was effecting life at home. I needed to make a change and quick.

After many restless nights, consideration and discussion, I felt that in order for me to "get back to my happy place", I needed to make a change in my career. I was so jaded about retail. I thought that this company was so totally different than all of the rest. In most aspects it is. But in the end, all retail is the same. One goal, make money, more money, more money.....and by any means. Ultimately, I have grown to dislike what I do. Therefore, the need for change. When one wakes in the morning, gets dressed for work, and walks through those doors, there should be a certain, genuine feeling that overcomes us. It is a warm, fuzzy feeling that excites you and makes you want to do what ever it is that you do. That feeling my friends has been absent for sometime.

Now, I could go on and on about my feelings. Maybe I should write a book or something. I will save some for another post.

Last night I watched The Devil Wears Prada. OMG, I was so the character Andrea. Going through the daily bump and grind and getting all caught up in the hustle and bustle. So deep into "my world" that I was turning my back on those that I loved and needed the most. One of the lines from the movie goes something like this, "When you are doing great at work, life at home is rocky. When you are up for promotion, life tends to go up in flames." That is not the exact quote but close enough for you all to get the idea. That line hit me like a ton of bricks. WOW....never thought of things that way.

Don't get me wrong, working for this company has not been a mistake. It was right and necessary. The growth and maturity that I have gained while employed here is priceless. Lessons that shall carry me through the next leg of my journey through life. Now, I just need to enjoy it again. I have been so caught up in looking at the finish line that I can not enjoy the race. So, time to take a break and get back to what I know and enjoy......FOOD.

That being said, it is now secret by now that we have made the decision to move back to Memphis by spring. I will start work the last week of January doing what I do best........

More to come later.

Thanks for all of your support and concern. Each and everyone of you mean so, so much to me.

unt